If you were able to have a look at my uterus, you would see it is blue and has a beard. The reason why? Because it only makes boys.
I used to be a girl`s girl. Makeup, dresses, perfume. It would be fruity drinks instead of whiskey shots.
However, being the mother of a male(four, to be exact) changes you. Parenting someone of the opposite sex brings challenges, and you have to adapt to the situation
In case you are expecting a baby boy or have a young boy, below, I have written a list of necessary things you must know when being a boy`s mom.
1) You must be a fan of bath time. And by that I am not implying you sitting in a candle-lit bathroom and a tub full of luxurious rose-scented buds but loving giving baths, considering the fact that boys require a lot of them.
2) You must reconsider your standards of ” safety.” By standards of safety, I don`t mean allowing the kids to ride without the car seat or things like that. I am talking about the fact that boys are rough. They will always be on the move, jumping off of things, sliding down and climbing up. They will be tasting all kind of stuff like dirt, glue, and hardened gum just out of curiosity. They will be involved in constant fights. For your sanity, stock up on band-aids.
3) You must consider having a continuous battle with the toilet. Just know girls, you will always, ALWAYS, be reminding them to flush the toilet, put the seat down, close the lid, and in the end, you will end up cleaning it. It is devastating keeping the toilet clean when you have a boy (or some) using it.
4) You must get used to messes. You will have to get used to having your house a total chaos all the time unless you will hire a full-time housekeeper. Despite that I am always telling them to keep things tidy and clean, boys will always be boys.
And all that is intensified when you have other boys and friends for a visit to your place.
5) You must have plenty of food all the time. Your kids will always be asking for a snack. The refrigerator in my house opens every minute when the children are home. I feel like fainting at the checkout lines when we go to the groceries every month, and yet we run out. They are like eating machines, and when one has something, then each of them wants their own.
6) You must be prepared for the drama. Everybody I meet is telling me that I must be so lucky to have boys, being that they consider boys less dramatic than girls. I have no clue why everybody thinks boys are easy-going and agreeable beings.
Don`t allow anyone tell you that you are lucky because boys are not as dramatic as girls as they seriously have no clue.
7) You must be ready to sort through LOADS OF JEANS. I am utterly astonished at how quickly they destroy a seemingly-durable pair of jeans. Denim is supposedly durable fabric, but that does not count for the crawling, blemishing, and running little boys.
8) You must be ok with nudity. I have no idea how my little boys go through that many pair of jeans as it is not like they wear them home. As soon as they get back from school, the boys begin stripping down. Often they lounge around in their underwear only.
9) You must consider farting funny. It is a fact: boys find farting funny. You better have a laugh with them rather than trying to make them stop laughing about that. You only have to point out the proper times and places to do it(i.e., not during meal times in a restaurant or so ). You will have to put up with farting as they find them humorous.
You must get accustomed to “the Grab.” I am referring to the wee-wee, the pee-pee or any other term you use. They will be touching and grabbing it on whatever kind of situation. As an infant, he will reach down to grab it as soon as you take the diaper off. But it will not stop there. They will stretch it, pull on it anytime they can get access to it. But after a while, you will get used to it as you`ll be too busy cleaning up messes or shopping for a new pair of jeans.
If you have any other must do things moms of boys need to know let us know in the comments below!